We all know how crucial good manners are, not only on the individual level, but also on the community level. Good manners are the innate, ethical rules to keep us on the right path, even when there are no societal laws to govern. So many evils in this world wouldn’t happen if we really followed good manners and ethics.
That’s why Islam, as the true religion of humanity, pays close attention to instilling good manners deep inside every Muslim, so that he can be good himself and urge good in others. Let’s have a look at how foundational good manners are in Islam:
The Criteria of Choosing the Messengers Themselves:
Allah, the Almighty, chose the best of us to be our prophets and messengers to guide us to the right path. They are our human examples in faith whom we follow with full trust. Every prophet and messenger already excelled at reflecting certain good manners; their inspiring examples prove that righteousness brings us closer to Allah:
[Truly, Ebrahim was forbearing, tender-hearted, and ever returning ˹to his Lord˺.] [Hud: 75]
[O descendants of those We carried [in the ship] with Noah. Indeed, he was a grateful servant.] [ Al-Israa:3]
[“O Yahya, take the Scripture [i.e., adhere to it] with determination.” And We gave him judgement [while yet] a boy. And affection from Us and purity, and he was fearing of Allāh. And dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.] [Maryam: 12-14].
[And indeed, you [O Mohammed] are of a great moral character.] [Al-Qalam: 4].
[Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example for whoever has hope in Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah often.] [Al-Ahzab: 21].
The Essence of Islam’s Message:
In Islam, good morals are irreplaceable when it comes to seeking goodness, so Islam signifies the good morals in the Muslim’s life. Allah sent His Messenger, Mohammed (PBUH), for that goal: He (PBUH) said: “I was sent to perfect good character.” (Sahih).
Definition of the Muslim:
As a Muslim, having good morals is not a mere privilege; it is a necessity, definition, and sign of your embracing Islam! Listen to those inspiring hadiths of Allah’s Messenger defining who is the true Muslim, and what morals he should reflect:
“A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe; and a Muhajir (Emigrant) is the one who refrains from what Allah has forbidden“. (Sahih).
“And he who treats us dishonestly does not belong to us.” (Sahih)
[The ˹true˺ servants of the Most Compassionate are those who walk on the earth humbly, and when the foolish address them ˹improperly˺, they only respond with peace.] [Al-Furqan: 63].
“He is not one of us who shows no mercy to younger ones and does not acknowledge the honour due to our elders“. (Sahih)
“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Sahih)
Great Weight on the Scale:
Every good act has a blessed weight of reward on the Scale on the Judgement Day. Acting according to good morals weighs heavily on that reward Scale:
Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) promised us: “There is nothing heavier than good character put in the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection.”
A Sure Way to Paradise:
Being pious and self-disciplined motivates the believer to do good deeds and to avoid evil ones. That, in turn, paves his way to Allah’s pleasure and Paradise, away from the Hellfire:
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was asked about the deed that will be foremost to lead a man to Paradise. He replied, “Fear of Allah and good conduct.” Then he was asked about indulgence, which will admit a man to Hell (Fire), and he answered, “The tongue and the genitals.”
The Standard of the Best:
Thanks to Allah’s mercy, the good deeds are various for all of us to seek a better version of ourselves. Yet, the best of us are those who live up to the standard of having and reflecting good manners as much as possible:
Allah, The Almighty, says: [… Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allāh is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allāh is Knowing and Aware.] [Al-Hujurat: 13].
The Prophet (PBUH) used to say: “The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.” (Sahih)
He (PBUH) said: “The dearest and nearest among you to me on the Day of Resurrection will be one who is the best of you in manners…”
A Great Act of Obedience:
Treating others in a good way is such a great act of worship that is often overlooked by many. For example, Allah makes you among the pious whom He loves and for whom He prepared His Paradise, when you strive to restrain your anger and to be tolerant and forgiving when interacting with people:
[And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden [i.e., Paradise] as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous.Who spend [for Allāh’s sake] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allāh loves the doers of good.] [Ali-’Imran: 133-135].
Allah commanded us with having good morals, as He commanded us with Salah, and Siyam (fasting). So, being good is actually an act of obedience and leads to a noble rank, as that of the true worshipper:
“The faithful believer reaches the rank of a Muslim who fasts and prays day and night, with his good manners.” (Sahih).
Main Reason for Reverting to Islam:
When Muslims embody the true morals and ethics of Islam, they already remind people of its essence. Many times, people revert to Islam, because of they like how Muslims are more patient in hardships, more dutiful to their parents, more loyal to spouses, etc. Yes, Muslims are still humans with many mistakes, yet they are less willing to do evil because they adhere to Islam. Often, Muslims strive to do more good and less evil.
Islam’s Uniqueness of Obligating Good Manners:
Yes, many religions -even the man-made ones- are out there asking their followers to keep on the right way. Yet, only Islam, with its applicable teachings and instructive practices, guides us practically to the realistic steps to take for becoming a really good person, deep inside, and when interacting with others, too. It keeps the needed balance between the rights of the person, himself, and the community he lives in. Let’s take some examples to explain that part clearly:
The Example of Maintaining the Muslim’s Modesty:
Let’s consider maintaining modesty and keeping away from adultery. Islam does not simply ask the Muslims to “be modest” and that’s it! No, it rather asks the Muslims to take various, practical steps enabling them to preserve their decency and modesty, like:
- Lowering the Gaze:
Allah commanded the Muslims, equally the males and females, to lower their gaze at the opposite gender, to keep themselves not tempted and decent since the first look, blocking the doors of Satan’s whispers:
[˹O Prophet!˺ Tell the believing to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.] [An-Nur: 30].
- Wearing Hijab:
Also, Allah commanded the Muslim women to cover themselves in a full, modest hijab that doesn’t reveal their naturally attractive bodies. That was to keep them safe from the lustful gaze of men and their potential abuse. Also, Hijab is obligatory because women’s beautiful bodies are their own blessing to preserve, not available to all men out there!
[O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allāh Forgiving and Merciful.] [Al-Ahzab: 59]
- No Touch, not even a Handshake:
In Islam, Muslim women don’t shake hands with men who are not their mahrams. Allah, the Creator, who knows us the best and knows our weaknesses as humans, prohibited any touching between the Muslim guys (non-mahrams) and the Muslim ladies, as that simple touch can arouse deep, intimate feelings and temptations.
So, Allah keeps our hearts safe from such emotional traps and pains, and keeps our feelings pure, unconsumed, and exclusive only for the wife/husband who is worthy of all our halal love. Allah’s Messenger, while being among the purest on earth, never shook hands with women. He (PBUH) is our honorable example.
- No Sitting Alone with the Opposite Gender:
Islam does not even give the devil the chance to incite the Muslims with evil whispers. By that, Islam blocks every possible way to adultery:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Whenever a man is alone with a woman, the devil becomes the third.” (Sahih).
- Marriage, or Fasting:
Islam is realistic; it is designed to meet human needs in the right way. That is why Islam doesn’t completely deny the innate intimacy or attraction between the man and woman, but rather places it right where it is created for. So, if a man really wants a love relationship with a woman, he needs to get ready to propose to her hand in marriage, build a real family, not just take advantage of her with zero responsibility! That is the advice of Allah’s Messenger for the Muslim guys:
“Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a restraint for him.” (Sahih).
Conclusion:
By reaching this line, you are now aware of how good manners are foundational in Islam, and how unique Islam is as it realistically sets a comprehensive ethical system. Islam not only shows us the way to the right path, but it also guides us, step by step, to keep us steady on this path.
At the end, we invoke Allah as His Messenger (PBUH) used to invoke Him:
“O Allah, guide me to the best deeds, and the best qualities; You alone can guide to the best of them; and guard me from evil deeds and evil qualities; You alone can guard from their evil ones.” Amen
